As a community and as a church each year we face dilemmas at the celebrations of relationships that have been successfully commercialised. I mean, Christmas for families, Mothers’ and Fathers’ Day and Valentine’s Day for lovers and hopeful lovers. Each day is bitter sweet. Those who have had good parents, are parents themselves, have a tolerable wider family network or are in a relationship for which they are grateful will forget that many in our world are trying to recover from their childhoods, many have not been given the gift of children, many hearts and dreams have been shattered by broken or unfulfilled intimate relationships, many families are in a state of torment or long and distant disappointment.
Of course it is right to celebrate the ideals of relationships but, as a church, we also have the freedom and courage to acknowledge the sadness, loss and need for repentance and healing. We have this freedom because we experience grace as a daily part of our lives as we follow the Lord Jesus Christ. For us, lament does not end in despair because, in the end, God hears our prayers and raises us up with him in joy so that even our deepest weakness, loss or shame becomes our strength and boast that we can depend on him.
The only way to say this better is through personal stories. The poem below was offered by one of our members as a personal reflection on Mothers’ day.
- Mike Flynn (Vicar)
I wish
I wish every day were mothers’ day and fathers’ day, not just one
Then parents would be recognised every day as they ought for the sacrifices they make for the sake of their children
Then we would be reminded to thank our parents every day instead of just once a year
Then we would honour parenthood as we should
Then it would be an authentic recognition rather than an opportunity for consumerism
I wish every day were mothers’ day and fathers’ day, not just one
Then there wouldn’t be one intense day that would highlight the pain of not having children
Then there wouldn’t be one intense day that would highlight the exclusion from the parent ‘club’
Then there wouldn’t be one intense day that would highlight what is missing
But there is a mothers’ day and a fathers’ day
So we celebrate the gift of mothers and fathers and all they do and try to do
And it’s ok to mourn the children who have never come, or who came and left too early
And it’s ok to grieve for the parents who weren’t as good as they should have been
And it’s ok to bring all of this to our perfect Father in heaven, for He cares for us.
- Anon (Member of St Columb’s Hawthorn)
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