Some thoughts on raising Christian Kids
During the 1970s six teenagers met at an active church youth fellowship and married to form three families. Recently these now sixty-somethings shared a week’s holiday, and gave great thanks to God for many things. In particular, for their nine children (now aged between 22 and 36), all of whom have a personal Christian faith and participate in a range of churches in Victoria and NSW.
So, as they reflected on their parenting, were there any ideas or thoughts that may help parents raise children in a Christian household today?
To begin, a couple of general comments.
First, parenting is hard work for all parents. Christian parents are no different. There is always the need to show love and guidance whilst also setting boundaries, which inevitably change as children grow older. Children are always observing their parents and testing boundaries. Parents need to support each other in decision making, as well as pray together as a couple.
Second, whilst these six parents rejoice in the faith of all their adult children, there are no guarantees. Every child is different. Some will accept the faith readily whilst others will wrestle with it or even reject it.
Nevertheless it is our hope that the following reflections may help Christian parents raise their children in the faith and encourage them to accept the good news of Jesus.
The first principle is that following Jesus must be seen to be of primary importance to the family. Children will pick this up at an early age. This priority can be reflected in many ways but we all believe that a key one is the aim to be at church as a family every week with no regular activities, such as sport, getting in the way. For example, two girls were asked to try out for the regional netball team but this would mean regular Sunday morning commitments. The family said no. At the time the girls were disappointed but now look back on it as the right decision. In another example, a Saturday football competition was found to replace the Sunday one.
The second principle is for parents to pray for their children on an ongoing basis for God’s help in the daily pressures that every child faces, particularly in today’s non-Christian world, and that they will grow in believing and loving Jesus. In fact, Christian parents should continue to pray for their children, whatever their age.
Some of the activities or approaches these three families used, which may be helpful, include:
· A special time with a parent each night before bed which included a Bible reading and a prayer, consistent with the teaching in Dt 11:18-21. Some used age-based Bible notes while others used a Children’s Bible. These special times tend to continue into the early high school years although it varied with the child.
· A regular family time of Bible reading/activities and prayer. These times can be very difficult to organise but all three families tried to do it least weekly. In some cases, they were combined with family “conferences”. An encouraging part of these times was to keep a prayer list and review it each time so that everyone could see how God answers prayers. During these times, the children’s behaviour may be challenging, testing a parent’s patience, but make it fun, get them involved and persevere!
Be ready to give thanks to God as his grace often surprises us. For example, when an eight year old came home from school with an invitation to the local junior football team and announced that he wouldn’t be joining, as the matches are on Sunday morning and we go to church at that time.
In the end, there is no single way to raise Christian children. Every child is different and every family is different. However, our children quickly pick up what is most important for their parents whether its education, career, money, sport, fitness or faith in Jesus Christ. Modelling is a really important part of parenting.
We hope that you can be encouraged and find some of these ideas helpful as you seek to raise children who follow Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.
So, as they reflected on their parenting, were there any ideas or thoughts that may help parents raise children in a Christian household today?
To begin, a couple of general comments.
First, parenting is hard work for all parents. Christian parents are no different. There is always the need to show love and guidance whilst also setting boundaries, which inevitably change as children grow older. Children are always observing their parents and testing boundaries. Parents need to support each other in decision making, as well as pray together as a couple.
Second, whilst these six parents rejoice in the faith of all their adult children, there are no guarantees. Every child is different. Some will accept the faith readily whilst others will wrestle with it or even reject it.
Nevertheless it is our hope that the following reflections may help Christian parents raise their children in the faith and encourage them to accept the good news of Jesus.
The first principle is that following Jesus must be seen to be of primary importance to the family. Children will pick this up at an early age. This priority can be reflected in many ways but we all believe that a key one is the aim to be at church as a family every week with no regular activities, such as sport, getting in the way. For example, two girls were asked to try out for the regional netball team but this would mean regular Sunday morning commitments. The family said no. At the time the girls were disappointed but now look back on it as the right decision. In another example, a Saturday football competition was found to replace the Sunday one.
The second principle is for parents to pray for their children on an ongoing basis for God’s help in the daily pressures that every child faces, particularly in today’s non-Christian world, and that they will grow in believing and loving Jesus. In fact, Christian parents should continue to pray for their children, whatever their age.
Some of the activities or approaches these three families used, which may be helpful, include:
· A special time with a parent each night before bed which included a Bible reading and a prayer, consistent with the teaching in Dt 11:18-21. Some used age-based Bible notes while others used a Children’s Bible. These special times tend to continue into the early high school years although it varied with the child.
· A regular family time of Bible reading/activities and prayer. These times can be very difficult to organise but all three families tried to do it least weekly. In some cases, they were combined with family “conferences”. An encouraging part of these times was to keep a prayer list and review it each time so that everyone could see how God answers prayers. During these times, the children’s behaviour may be challenging, testing a parent’s patience, but make it fun, get them involved and persevere!
- A family activity of praying for the world whilst at the same time learning about each country and what God is doing there. This activity also highlighted the fact that our God is God of the whole world.
- Using reliable resources for age-based Bible reading or family activities from organisations such as Scripture Union or mission agencies. There is no need to make the resources up!
- Regular involvement in small groups within the local church. In some cases these were family groups which included the kids.
- Personal Bible study and prayer by parents highlight to the children the importance of spending time with God.
- Participating in ministry in the local church. This included music ministry, parish council, children’s and youth ministry as well as hospitality in the home.
- Letting each child find their own path to faith. In some cases, the high school years were critical and formative whereas in other cases, university was more important. The teenagers were encouraged but not pressured to join Christian groups at school or uni.
- Helping the teenagers to attend the church’s youth camp, even if this meant rearranging the weekend’s activities.
- Encouraging and supporting children and young adults as they start to be involved in ministry themselves whether in the local church, at school or uni, or with some mission teams.
- Enjoying God’s creation as a family. Whether it’s a bush walk, a sunset, a look up to the night sky or a visit to the aquarium, you can reflect on about the beauty and wonder of God’s creation.
- Spending time with each child and actually getting to know them, and not making every discussion about faith in Jesus.
- Being flexible and willing to change. As families grow and children get older, it is inevitable that there will be change. That’s OK. There are lots of different ways to encourage our children.
Be ready to give thanks to God as his grace often surprises us. For example, when an eight year old came home from school with an invitation to the local junior football team and announced that he wouldn’t be joining, as the matches are on Sunday morning and we go to church at that time.
In the end, there is no single way to raise Christian children. Every child is different and every family is different. However, our children quickly pick up what is most important for their parents whether its education, career, money, sport, fitness or faith in Jesus Christ. Modelling is a really important part of parenting.
We hope that you can be encouraged and find some of these ideas helpful as you seek to raise children who follow Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.